For all their joy, weddings are sometimes charged with potentially explosive situations. These may be the feelings of divorced parents, stepparents and children, either yours or your future spouse.
If you can, observe one rule at all times: Don’t Push! Include all the children in all appropriate wedding planning and festivities, but be sensitive to their reactions. No whatter what the relationship with the former wife or husband, be as amicable as possible in discussing any wedding plans involving the children.
 Trevor Booth Photography, Windsor, Ontario- will travel Schedule a special visit with your clergyman or officiant so he/she can meet with the children. Many ceremonies include vows for children, emphasizing the formation of the new family and recognizing their place in it. Ask children if they want to participate in such vows, and respect their decision and feelings.
Children may shun the speaking role, but be eager to be in the wedding party. It would be appropriate to consider them for ring bearer, altar boy, usher, flower girl, bridesmaid, guest book or gift attendant.
If the children choose only to attend the wedding as guests, accept this decision gracefully. Make arrangements for special seating, perhaps just before your parents are seated.
Be sure to include the children in the receiving line if you have one, even if they did not participate in the actual ceremony. Introduce them in their old and new roles. For example, ” This is Michael’s son and my stepson, Josh.”
Have formal pictures taken of the new parent and new stepchildren alone. These photos may later be a treasured gift.
As important as it is that the children understand that the new parent is in a sense marrying them, too, it is also important that they respect the new relationship between the two adults. So, if you are taking a honeymoon trip after the wedding, take it alone. Plan a special family trip later, but reserve the honeymoon just for the two of you.
If the children will be living with you and your spouse, include them in appropriate decisions about their new circumstances.
Be prepared for some tears, especially if children are small. Probably the most important thing you can do is avoid making any assumptions; about anything. Be open and communicate with them. Including the children in the ceremony can enhance the wedding and lend a firm base to your new blended family.
Not too long ago, encore brides wore a pink suit and wed in the clerk’s office at City Hall. Understandably, since so many weddings across the country are second or subsequent marriages, the rules for “proper” behaviour have realistically eased.
 Trevor Booth Photography, Windsor, Ontario, will travel The underlying theme this time, whether divorced or widowed, is romantic rather than innocent.
Check first with your clergy for any religious restrictions. You may then find this the perfect opportunity for a home or garden wedding or an intimate church wedding with a larger reception. But if you’ve always dreamed of a large wedding, go ahead. A Sunday wedding will allow you more choices for reception facilities.
Your wedding dress may be ivory, the new pinks or peaches, or the traditional white. This time you may have a lower cut dress, but forgo the train and replace the veil with a romantic hat or a sophisticated beaded headpiece or a fascinator, made popular by Kate Middleton.
A widow may want to have a male member of the family give her away, while the encore bride may walk by herself, or with the groom. A new popular custom is including your sons and daughters as attendants, or as flower girl and ring bearer, if they are young.
At the reception, there need not be a formal receiving line, and while most of the “fun” traditions remain, the throwing of the bouquet and garter and rice or confetti are usually reserved for first weddings.
Marriage Reaffirmations are also increasing in popularity. Once reserved for 25th or 50th anniversaries, they are now being celebrated as early as the fifth anniversary.
Many couples choose to recreate their wedding day, complete with original dress and attendants, while others opt for a clergy renewing their vows during an Anniversary Party. Couples are also finding this a great opportunity to redesign their wedding day and enjoy the ensuing celebration.
If your parents are divorced, there are probably several different decisions you must make to accommodate, as smoothly as possible, several potentially explosive situations.
 Photo: Chalet Studio Photography, Windsor, Ontario, will travel Here are the following suggestions as alternatives to established tradition.
Your Invitations: It would be proper for the parent with whom you have been living the longest to issue the invitation, if applicable. The other parent is not mentioned. However, if both parents agree, the invitations may be issued in both names.
Introducing the Future In-laws to Each Other: Protocol would dictate the first introduction should be to the parent with whom you have been living, followed a week or so later by a visit with your other parent.
Giving the Bride Away: Unless you are personally estranged from your father, it is he who walks you down the aisle and gives your away.
Seating at The Ceremony: The bride’s mother and her immediate family (parents, husband and children) are seated in the front row. The second row is left empty. The bride’s father, after walking the bride down the aisle, sits with his present wife and parents in the third row.
The Reception Line: Traditionally, the bride’s mother stands in the receiving line and her father mingles with the guests. (no problem here) However, if the brides wants both her parents in the line, be sure to separate your divorced parents with the stepparents or grandparents to eliminate confusion among your guests. If you are serving a sit-down dinner, be sure to assign separate tables for your parents and their spouses.
One would hope that on this, your most memorable day, your divorced parents would set aside personal feelings and consciously avoid creating any tensions.
Your groom and your guests will always remember your radiant glow on your wedding day. However, you know that long hours on the job and the stress of wedding planning can wear you out. You need to give your body and your skin the rejuvenation it deserves.
The perfect way to achieve an overall sense of well-being and restore your energy is to reap the benefits of a weekly sauna. Whether you are in pain, have an existing condition or just want to maximize your energy and well being, saunas are a perfect remedy to melt away stress.
Even when you are relaxed, your brain uses 20% of your body’s oxygen and glucose. Under pressure, it can lead to fatigue, upset stomach, headaches and problems sleeping.
At The Women’s Club, their infrared sauna only heats the body, not the air, as a steam sauna will do, so it’s safe, easier to breath and will allow for deep therapeutic healing.
By stimulating the sweat glands, circulation and thyroid function, your heart and metabolic rates increase for hours after. Dilated blood vessels enhance oxygen to your internal organs, muscles and soft tissue for relief of any chronic pain that you may have. (back or fibromyalgia)
As skin temperature increases, the infrared heat liquefies fats and increases detoxification. This cleanses your body and carries away fat, cholesterol, sodium and other metallic toxins.
Thirty minutes a week will burn 300+ calories, improve your vitality, immunity and circulation while making your skin radiant.
The benefits of infrared saunas have long been known for their sense of well being and it’s a great way to schedule some “bridal me time” for yourself, knowing that you are keeping yourself healthy. By warding off your chance of infections and taking the kinks out of your daily challenges, you will tackle the most important planning decisions and feel like you are walking on a cloud nine with all the energy to enjoy this wonderful time in your life- your engagement!
The Women’s Club is dedicated to you, the bride-to-be and your wedding party, by keeping you out of overdrive with smart strategies for stress-busting, weight loss, yoga, aerobics, nutrition and weight loss. They also offer gift certificates for all your special thank yous.
15% Reduction on Infrared Sauna Sessions
1 session $21.25 - Regular price $25
10 sessions $170- Regular price $200
20 sessions $255- Regular price $300
The Women’s Club, 1606 Sylvestre Drive, Tecumseh, Ontario- 519-735-3100
womansclubfitness.com or email: [email protected]
It was 25 years ago today that I married the love of my life. I was born and raised in Windsor but we met while living in Toronto. We were off on a free, promotional trip to Vegas, hosted by the Sunbeam Corporation. My husband-to-be had won this trip for his sales excellence.
 Photo: Trevor Booth Photography, Windsor, Ontario- will travel Along with 30 others, we made our way to the desert and had a glorious, three day weekend. On the Saturday morning over a leisurely breakfast and before a trip to Hoover Dam, John astonished me, by asking if I wanted to get married that night! We had never discussed the “M” word, both of us having been wed before, so this was new territory for us.
Totally surprised, I said I’d give him an answer later in the day. We were all scheduled to dine at a high end restaurant, known only to the locals, and then proceed to a show in one of the hotels. It was going to be a late night- let alone time to slide in a wedding.
We arrived back into the city after six hours of sightseeing and John continued driving up and down the streets of Vegas. I asked what he was looking for and he said, “One of those chapels!” A tad annoyed, I said they were like hospitals- if you needed one you asked or look it up in the phone book!
Back at the hotel, I went directly to the casino, giggling quietly to myself. I knew I’d say a resounding “YES”, but still wanted to do some serious contemplation alone.
I returned to our lavish room to find the yellow pages open on the bed, turned to the category, Wedding Chapels. I asked if he had booked anything and he said no! Thinking ahead, I scanned the pages and found the “Little White Chapel” promoting that Joan Collins had been married there and picked up the phone.
I told the person who answered that we were going to be occupied all evening and was met with, “no problem” we will send our limousine around to the lobby at 1:30 am and to be ready with two witnesses.
Whisked away to the license bureau, we were surprised to see a lengthy line-up in the old bank-like building that was decorated with skeletons, pumpkins, ghosts and goblins for Halloween. It was surreal! Our turn came, we paid with American Express and were back in the limousine and whisked off the chapel.
Promptly at 2 am, in a quaint and cozy atmosphere, we were married by world-renowned, Charlotte Richards and sent on our married way. We called friends and family on the east coast at 4am and by early morning, we were back on an airplane heading home to Toronto.
Our best friends were marrying in 42 days and we didn’t want to steal their thunder because of all the planning that they had been doing, so we decided to keep our nuptials a secret until after their special day. I can assure you secrets can be kept under wraps!
Today we are marking yet another milestone and life together has been one marvelous adventure and there’s nothing that I would change. I might also add our good friends will be marking their 25th next month.
To everyone who is engaged or thinking about a future proposal, know that whether a wedding is big or small, elaborate or simple, it matters not. What is really important, is opening that newly-married chapter of your life and living each and every day together with the knowledge of knowing that you have started something that will take on a life of its own. Your happiness and destiny lies in picking the perfect mate and setting dreams and goals. The rest will take care of itself.
|